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JOSHUA LYNSEN
Friday, August 15, 2008
Kate
Oliver
forces
back
tears
as
she
laments
the
laws
that
prevent
her
two
dads
from
marrying.
Oliver,
a
married
mother
of
two
girls,
said
it’s
wrong
that
Maryland
won’t
allow
her
biological
father,
Ken
Travers,
to
wed
his
longtime
partner,
Robert
Harris.
“I
get
a
little
emotional
sometimes
when
I
talk
because
it
really
hurts
my
heart
to
know
that
Bob’s
the
only
person
in
my
family
that
I’m
not
legally
connected
to,”
she
said.
“I’m
so
emotionally
connected
to
him.”
So
driven
is
Oliver
to
see
her
two
dads
wed
in
Maryland
that
she,
along
with
another
grown
child
of
gay
parents,
recently
sought
a
meeting
with
Gov.
Martin
O’Malley
to
discuss
the
importance
of
marriage
to
their
families.
He
turned
them
down.
In
letters
last
month
to
Oliver,
who
lives
in
Columbia,
and
Ryan
LaLonde,
who
lives
in
Silver
Spring,
O’Malley
said
his
“busy
schedule
at
this
point
in
time”
would
not
allow
him
to
take
the
meeting.
He
referred
them
to
an
aide.
LaLonde,
a
gay
man
raised
by
two
lesbians,
said
he
was
surprised
that
O’Malley
couldn’t
find
the
time
during
legislative
recess
to
take
the
meeting.
“We’re
trying
to
meet
when
it’s
the
least
hectic,”
he
said.
“Maybe
he’s
got
vacation.
It
is
summer.”
No
matter
the
circumstances,
though,
Oliver
said
she
was
disappointed.
“Because
it’s
just,
that’s
just
the
way
things
seem
to
go
sometimes,”
she
said.
“Sometimes
politicians
will
say
what
they
need
to
say
to
get
elected
and
then
forget
about
us
and
our
families
when
it’s
inconvenient.”
Rick
Abbruzzese,
an
O’Malley
spokesperson,
said
the
redirect
to
legislative
aide
Joe
Bryce
was
no
slight,
though,
and
simply
part
of
“the
process”
that
all
such
meeting
requests
face.
He
told
the
Blade
on
Wednesday
that
the
legislative
office
was
reaching
out
to
offer
Oliver
and
LaLonde
a
meeting
with
Bryce
in
early
September.
“From
what
I
understand,
we
never
actually
said
no,”
Abbruzzese
said.
“We
just
never
responded,
quite
frankly,
because
they
hadn’t
gotten
to
it
in
the
legislative
shop.”
But
the
handling
of
the
meeting
request
is
the
latest
act
by
O’Malley
—
a
man
once
seen
as
unabashedly
gay
friendly
—
to
upset
gay
rights
activists.
As
mayor
of
Baltimore,
O’Malley
joined
Pride
celebrations
and
signed
laws
barring
discrimination
against
transgender
workers
and
residents.
He
also
courted
gay
votes
during
his
campaign
for
governor.
But
after
moving
to
Annapolis,
O’Malley
last
year
greeted
a
court
ruling
upholding
Maryland’s
ban
on
same-sex
marriages
by
noting
the
state
shouldn’t
tell
“any
faith
how
to
define
its
sacraments.”
O’Malley
also
gave
little
public
support
this
year
to
the
many
gay
bills
that
lawmakers
debated.
Carrie
Evans,
policy
director
at
Equality
Maryland,
said
the
gay
rights
group
believes
O’Malley
maintains
“an
open
heart
and
an
open
mind”
on
gay
issues.
LaLonde
and
Olive
said
the
governor’s
increasingly
mixed
record
has
left
them
wondering,
though,
whether
they
can
consider
him
an
ally.
“I
think
that
there
does
need
to
be
some
upset
feelings
expressed
—
even
outrage
—
because
I
feel
kind
of
used,”
Olive
said.
“I
feel
like
our
families
have
been
used.
I
know
many
people
through
Equality
Maryland
that
were
really
supporting
O’Malley.
And
he
gets
into
office,
and
you
go,
‘oh
yeah,
we’re
ready.’
And
then
you
get
this,
‘oh,
maybe
not
so
much’
feeling.”
LaLonde
said
it’s
unfortunate
that
O’Malley
couldn’t
meet
even
briefly
with
two
families
directly
affected
by
the
state’s
ban
on
same-sex
marriage.
“I’m
not
a
stranger
to
politics,”
he
said.
“My
partner
has
worked
on
numerous
campaigns
and
we’ve
seen
behind
the
scenes.
It’s
probable
that
he
wants
the
topic
to
die
as
quickly
as
possible.”
But
the
topic
won’t
die,
LaLonde
said,
and
O’Malley
would
do
well
to
hear
the
perspectives
of
children
that
were
reared
by
same-sex
couples.
“It’s
a
societal
issue,”
he
said.
“When
you
go
to
school
and
people
talk
about
their
mom
and
their
dad,
it’s
hard
to
talk
about
your
moms
without
people
questioning
what’s
going
on.”
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.jpg "Washington Blade - Ken Travers and Robert Harris play with their grandchildren following their 2007 commitment ceremony in Hawaii. The couple cannot legally wed in Maryland, but Travers’ daughter is lobbying for changes that would allow them to marry.
(Photo courtesy of Kate Oliver)<br />")
