Tim Bergling will be signing copies of his new book, ‘Chasing Adonis’ at Lambda Rising on April 5. (Photo courtesy of
Tim Bergling)
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ZACK ROSEN
Friday, March 23, 2007
Tim
Bergling
has
a
good
idea
of
what
men
like.
The
Washington-based
author
spent
a
year
collecting
data,
opinions
and
personal
anecdotes
from
gay
males
of
all
ages
on
the
subject
of
desire.
This
research
formed
the
core
of
Bergling’s
new
book,
“Chasing
Adonis:
Gay
Men
and
the
Pursuit
of
Perfection,”
an
in-depth
look
at
the
ways
that
attraction
(or
lack
thereof)
informs
all
aspects
of
gay
life.
Bergling,
who
will
be
signing
copies
of
his
book
at
Lambda
Rising
on
April
5,
previously
authored
“Sissyphobia:
Gay
Men
and
Effeminate
Behavior”
and
“Reeling
in
the
Years:
Gay
Men’s
Perspectives
on
Age
and
Ageism.”
“Chasing
Adonis”
rounds
out
a
sort
of
trio
on
homosexual
prejudice,
a
subject
that,
Bergling
says,
has
always
interested
him.
“I
always
joke
that
femmes,
fats
and
old
people
are
the
unholy
trinity
in
the
gay
community,”
he
says.
“I’ve
written
about
femmes
and
I’ve
written
about
age,
so
I
only
had
the
fat
people
to
cover.
I
wanted
to
talk
about
gay
men
and
image
issues,
what
we
find
attractive
and
why.”
Tired
of
the
overly
theoretical,
“ivory
tower”
approach
to
queer
studies,
Bergling
decided
to
go
directly
to
the
people.
He
established
a
web
site
that,
over
the
course
of
a
year,
collected
surveys
and
stories
from
a
wide
range
of
gay
men
who
seemingly
provided
a
certain
level
of
candor
on
the
things
that
turned
them
on.
Some
of
the
results
were
rather
surprising,
like
the
fact
that
only
7
percent
of
men
surveyed
listed
the
penis
as
their
favorite
body
part.
Some
were
a
little
less
salacious
and
a
little
more
depressing.
“I
was
surprised
about
the
number
of
pretty
people
who
were
so
insecure
about
their
looks,”
Bergling
says.
“Most
dismaying
to
me
was
the
number
of
people
that
absolutely
value
any
kind
of
exterior
over
the
interior.
There
are
people
that
are
deeply
shallow.
They
think
that
because
they’re
pretty
they
don’t
have
to
be
nice.”
THERE’S
MUCH
IN
the
book
that
isn’t
nice.
Providing
a
close
look
at
some
of
the
thought
processes
that
go
into
both
rejection
and
acceptance
of
possible
sexual
and
romantic
partners,
this
book
should
be
required
reading
for
any
man
who
has
found
himself
alone
at
a
club,
baffled
at
why
he’s
been
turned
down
or
whom
he’s
been
turned
down
for.
Bergling
says
attraction
is
hardwired
into
men
the
same
way
as
sexuality
and
there’s
no
accounting
for
what
makes
the
legs
weak.
Some
men
go
for
men
who
look
like
them;
some
go
for
their
complete
opposites.
Regardless
of
the
variables,
it’s
clear
that
men
are
true
to
their
own
aesthetics.
“Because
they
had
to
fire
up
the
creative
part
of
their
brain
as
a
survival
mechanism,
gay
men
seem
to
be
more
in
love
with
beauty,
art
and
creativity,”
Bergling
says.
“That’s
a
positive
stereotype
if
you
have
to
have
one.
We
tend
to
be
in
love
with
male
beauty.”
Male
beauty
runs
through
every
chapter
of
“Chasing
Adonis.”
The
way
image
is
defined,
marketed,
resented
and
worshipped
has
changed
depending
on
the
era
and
the
specific
individual,
but
beauty’s
death
grip
on
gay
men
appears
to
be
suffocatingly
tight.
Since
the
ideals
of
beauty
vary
widely
from
person
to
person
and
since
a
gay
man
could
easily
go
crazy
trying
to
live
up
to
these
ideals,
Bergling
says
there’s
one
solution
to
avoiding
the
beauty
trap
altogether.
“The
gay
community’s
biggest
problem
has
always
been
low
self-esteem,”
he
says.
“You
improve
that
and
you
improve
all
the
problems.
If
you
can
feel
better
about
yourself,
then
you’re
insulated.
It’s
an
awfully
tall
order,
but
if
you’re
happy
with
how
you
look,
it
won’t
matter
what
others
think
about
you.”
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